Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
