Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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