scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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