i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
