My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
