need another drink. this is the easiest way
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
