I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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