It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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