It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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