Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
COCAINE IS GR8
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
