I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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