i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize