My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
