Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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