Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
