I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize