Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
