i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
