just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
