Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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