You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
