i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
