im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Everything about him screamed your future.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
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