MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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