I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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