new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
NoShamevember. You game?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
