in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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