I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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