I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
