I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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