just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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