meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Im part way to drunk.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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