So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
