my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
