i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize