Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
