I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
