I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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