You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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