Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
