i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
