Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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