they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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