oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
