He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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