if i can run in heels then i can drive
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize