its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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