I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
