I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
