you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
