I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
