I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I will pee on everything he values.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
