He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
