The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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