Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
