she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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